11 Ways You Can Support Parents in The NICU

Childbirth is supposed to be a day filled with excitement and joy. But, for parents who’ve given birth earlier than expected, it can be a day of worry and fear. No parent expects to deliver a baby prematurely and spend days, weeks and months in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). When this happens to you there are really no words that can bring immediate comfort. As a micropreemie mom myself, I know first hand how scary and isolating being in the NICU can feel. You’re afraid for your preemie’s life and health and wondering who you can talk to about what you’re going through.

Caleb, now a happy and healthy 8 year old, was born at 25 weeks gestation. He weighed 2 pounds, .04 ounces, and was 12 inches long. Looking at his tiny body in that isolette 8 years ago broke my heart. This was not how my pregnancy and birth was supposed to go. This was not how my son’s life was supposed to begin, but there we were. Caleb endured and overcame so many challenges during his NICU journey. He spent his first four months of life in the NICU before Derek and I could bring him home. Even after graduating the NICU, he came home on supplemental oxygen that we used at home, and numerous medications that he had to take around the clock. It was a journey! However, I’m grateful to God that today he’s here with us, healthy, active, and doing all the things an 8 year old should be doing.

The NICU journey is hard, as things change with your preemie minute by minute and day to day. But, I learned so much from my NICU journey at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Plano. The nurses and staff there took great care of Caleb, and made sure that we understood his needs while also including us in his care when we were present for his touch times. Because of my journey, I now support other preemie parents through My Predestined One, a nonprofit that I founded in 2016, and here’s what you can do to support a friend or family member who’s a parent in the NICU.

1. Offer to cook and provide a meal, create a meal train, provide frozen meals.

2. Congratulate them on the birth of their new baby. The birth, although not as planned, should still be celebrated.

3. Offer to be the point of contact OR create a private group message or page to keep other family and friends updated on baby’s progress, so the parents can focus on their and baby’s health.

4. Reach out via call or text to offer emotional support, let them know you’re thinking of them, praying for them and baby.

5. Prepare a care package for the new mom & dad.

6. Provide them cleaning service for their home, or offer to clean, do laundry.

7. Offer to dog sit their pet for a few days while they’re visiting the NICU and dad is working.

8. Offer to babysit their other children when they’re at the NICU.

9. Wait until the parents say it’s ok to stop by and visit.

10. Stay home and DO NOT visit if you’re sick. Your runny nose or sneezing could put the baby’s health in real danger.

11. Don’t compare their preemie baby’s health and needs to that of a full term baby. They are not the same.